Marital affairs can be emotional or physical and may even be fantasy in the case of a partner with a pornography addiction, romance novel addiction or a crush or obsession with another romantic interest.
If you partner is more attached to something or someone other than you and/or your kids, it could be considered a marital affair.
If your partner flirts and seeks praise and attention from other people, this may be a sign of narcissism in your marriage.
Am I Wrong to Worry my Partner May be Having a Marital Affair?
If you are often jealous for no apparent reason this is a sign you may need to work on your attachment style and relationship skills. We have exercises for this in The Love Safety Net Workbook to help you build more emotional intimacy and security in your relationships. However if you have reason to believe that you partner is having a marital affair it is normal to feel jealous.
What is best is to make moves to find out without obsessing. You can discretely ask other members of your family (and your friends) if they know anything, or you may need to hire a private investigator who specialises in investigating marital affairs.
Keeping yourself in the dark is not going to keep you safe. In Back From the Looking Glass I explain the steps I took to rebuilt my Narcissistic/Codependent marriage.
What if it is You Who is Having an Affair?
Working through the exercises in Our Love Safety Net Workbook will help you build love and trust again with your family and help you fill your developmental gaps so that you do not feel so desperate for attention and affection.
What if my Partner is Having an Affair?
The steps and exercises we offer will help you build a much stronger attachment with your partner at the same time as you becoming more attractive.
No matter how much you feel you are the innocent victim of your partner’s marital affair. Statistics show that by leaving your partner (and putting all the blame on them for your relationship problems) you are like to form exactly the same type of relationship again in the future.
This does not mean you are to blame or that there is nothing you can do to protect yourself from your partners bad behaviour. We want to help you learn how to set better boundaries and stand up for yourself effectively. This may or may not earn your partners respect – but even if their infidelity continues and you separate, it will leave you in a much better position.
You should know that marital affairs usually mean that there is a whole web of lies you are living with including your partner embezzling money from your partnership to spend on their marital affair and possibly using other family members as their alibi.
I know of a man who pretended he was spending time and giving money to his 18 year old son (after he moved out of home and into a new area) he was really spending on his mistress. This poor boy was left alone to fend for himself with very little money or companionship while his family all believed he was being ‘spoiled’ by his father.
This boy didn’t tell his mother or other members of his family because he was scared of his father and also scared of hurting her.
Would you like your children left in this situation because they felt you were not strong enough to handle the truth?
This is just one story out of hundreds I have heard about the collateral damage caused in families by marital affairs.
We want to help you grow stronger and be able to face these problems whether the affairs are physical, emotional or fantasy.
Signs of Narcissism in Your Marriage (scroll right to left) . . .
Does Someone Close to You Show Signs of Narcissism?
A checklist of signs of narcissism in yourself. If you ignore these signs you may never find your longing for love fully satisfied.
The special person whose attention you crave is a mirage; each new admirer looks like the perfect one; but only for a short time before the illusion fades . . .
Marital affairs can be emotional or physical and may even be fantasy in the case of a partner with a pornography addiction.