As long as you and your partner hold opposing views on life, talking about ‘who-said-what-and-why’ in marriage counselling will never fix your problems!”
Are Narcissism and Codependence What is Destroying Your Relationship?
When couples decide to enter marriage counselling to give their relationship time, attention (& money); they can sometimes find the sessions turn into a kind of battle. As each partner struggles to get the counsellor onside, the couple can end up squaring off in opposing corners. Instead of bringing couples closer, marriage counselling will sometimes turn into a contest of ‘two against one’.
Beyond this type of ‘marriage counselling tug-o-war’, a healthy view on relationships grows from the wisdom known by science as emotional intelligence. More commonly known as maturity, emotional intelligence is the wisdom of understanding your emotions.
We offer emotional intelligence training as an alternative to marriage counselling
More than bringing harmony to your marriage, research has shown developing your Emotional Intelligence will increase your quality of life in every way science can measure.
Scientists following thousands of test subjects throughout their lives have discovered people with 4 major emotional competencies (central to a healthy view on life) do better on every scale of success science can measure.
Emotionally competent people live in better homes, in more peaceful suburbs, make more money, enjoy higher rates of job and marriage satisfaction and experience lower rates of divorce and mental illness in their families. Along with their children they do better at sport, school and work and enjoy better health and social connections (1).
Central to emotional competence is vagal nerve tone (2) which, very simply put, determines how fast you are able to calm down after an upset.
Vagal nerve tone is the most important indicator of happiness and success in life and can be improved with a few simple exercises.
I will share these exercises with you (and the other emotional competencies) as soon as you make the decision to join our mailing list. But first, I want to share with you the immature patterns of behaviour that bring many relationships to their knees.
Before you risk your hard earned money and precious time on marriage counselling (and risk entering a marriage counselling tug-o-war), let’s see if your current immature view on relationships may need improving? . . .
- As a child: you were expected to keep your parents happy and keep the peace.
- As an adult: you feel you give your best to your marriage but your best is never enough.
- As a child: you were expected to bring recognition to your family through achievement.
- As an adult: you resent being made to feel responsible for your marriage partner’s happiness.
Narcissism & Codependence are learned family roles; they represent opposing views on life that will cause conflict, chaos and disappointment, eventually destroying love & companionship
Kim Cooper – Author of Back from the Looking Glass